Tuesday, January 21, 2003

I don’t mean to say crappy things about myself…maybe its b/c of my job.

I don’t really like it anymore. I hide in the office and I don’t give a shit about anything. I don’t care what happens in the dinning room, I don’t care about my staff. All I care about is…..

….nothing really. That’s just it, I don’t care. I know that isn’t the best motto or way of thinking for me right now, but once again…

I don’t care.
For a while now ive been reading some kids online journal…a blogg similar to this one* and I look at this kid and he does so much. I know that hes only a freshman in college, but hes done more w/ his art then I did all throughout college.
This makes me upset.
Its people like this that make me feel like I have noting to live for right now. I don’t what to be that person that sits around and watched syndicated reruns ALL day long!

*not really his is a million times better
God I feel like a worthless piece of…I don’t know what. I look at some people and they seem to have everything together and then I look at me*

Someone at work asked me what I do on my spare time. I didn’t know what to say, I thought of making up this big elaborate story, but honestly I couldn’t even come up w/ one.
$%!what has happened to me$%!
There was a time when I had ambition and liked to do things, nowa days all I do is come home from work and sit on the couch and watch fuzzy tv**

*I know that the grass is always greener on the other side but I cant help it. Some people know what they want and they go for it they set their mind at something and they work towards that goal.

**my television gets a limited amount of channels…2,4 (sometimes depending on the time of day), 6,7,25,38,56.
That’s it, nothing else***

***if its any consolation it is a color tv