Tuesday, January 21, 2003

I don’t mean to say crappy things about myself…maybe its b/c of my job.

I don’t really like it anymore. I hide in the office and I don’t give a shit about anything. I don’t care what happens in the dinning room, I don’t care about my staff. All I care about is…..

….nothing really. That’s just it, I don’t care. I know that isn’t the best motto or way of thinking for me right now, but once again…

I don’t care.
For a while now ive been reading some kids online journal…a blogg similar to this one* and I look at this kid and he does so much. I know that hes only a freshman in college, but hes done more w/ his art then I did all throughout college.
This makes me upset.
Its people like this that make me feel like I have noting to live for right now. I don’t what to be that person that sits around and watched syndicated reruns ALL day long!






*not really his is a million times better
God I feel like a worthless piece of…I don’t know what. I look at some people and they seem to have everything together and then I look at me*


Someone at work asked me what I do on my spare time. I didn’t know what to say, I thought of making up this big elaborate story, but honestly I couldn’t even come up w/ one.
$%!what has happened to me$%!
There was a time when I had ambition and liked to do things, nowa days all I do is come home from work and sit on the couch and watch fuzzy tv**




*I know that the grass is always greener on the other side but I cant help it. Some people know what they want and they go for it they set their mind at something and they work towards that goal.

**my television gets a limited amount of channels…2,4 (sometimes depending on the time of day), 6,7,25,38,56.
That’s it, nothing else***

***if its any consolation it is a color tv

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Melissa left yesterday for Italy. Im thinking this will be good for her, she is the type if person that is a lil needy and going far far away by herself is something that will work to its fullest on her personality. I think.
So I found this site again…I think ive said that once before, and I shall not be “doing this” for very long since my new found managers position is ending very soon. It seems as quickly they pulled me in the quicker they spit me out.i was one of the luckier ones…they offered me a new job, “son, this one is bigger and better then before…can you lift up to 100 lbs?!”
…what???
Im hung over sitting in an office that is hotter then hell, consuming caffeine, dreading the time win I need to go into the dining room and make myself know and presentable. …did I mention that im hung over?
Im a lil glad that this job and department is almost over, at times I feel like there “bitch” I do what they say and I do it w/ a smile but enough is enough. Im tired, im tired of seeing others get better things then me just b/c they have tits. I work harder then some tits around here and still I go unnoticed. We had our xmas party yesterday and I kinda had fun. No, I did. Amanda came w/ me and we drank and made Asses out of ourselves. She did b/c she didn’t know anyone there and I just don’t give a fuck!

Thursday, July 18, 2002

My entries are getting fewer and fewer, why b/c my jobage is getting weaker and weaker. I really don’t ever wanna come here. I know thats bad and I really need to but working in this office is making me unhappy*

*everything has been making me unhappy…work, the weather, my apartment, my plants, friends**

**or lack there of.
I think I have an over active bladder.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

[sigh]
I don’t know how much longer I can take working here.
Im growing to hate it.
Its just not something that I wanna do anymore. Unfortunately I have to keep it since I don’t get enough hours at the hotel. I like working there*, I just wish they would give me more hours. I need it and Ive spoke to them about it, but my manager is leaving** so I don’t know how the “new guy” will handle it.
I know I should find a better job, one that can pay the bills, buts its not as easy as that. Everyone is looking and no one can find one.
I feel so bad for Amanda, she couldn’t find one~not one! That’s got to be tuff. Res life sucks you in and wont let you go. I think they put this magical spell over you, an invisible shield that only future employees see and they are repelled against.
Its sucks!!!


*so far (knock on wood)
**tomorrow is his last day
Don’t know really, things just seem a lil odd. I was creeped out by the yellow haze that was lingering over the world a few days ago, then I found out it wasn’t something so eerie. Just large fires in Canada
~you know, no big deal.
What else…..

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Nothing makes sense, but whatever!

This building is NOT a play area for all of YOU, LEAVE!
This heat is killing everyone

people don’t seem to act the proper way that they should when the heat is involved. if the weather stays this way and the heat wave continues, people will start killing eachother*

I cant concentrate w/ the amount of people in the office, the office that I will soon not be working at. Why, b/c im slowly being relinquished from all my duties

G-E-T O-U-T!!!!!**

*hopefully

**sorry, I told you I cant concentrate!

Friday, June 28, 2002

whats w/ the one sentence entries

im so deep.
Some people just fascinate me.

There are these people that when introduced to something new, they get engulfed in it and beat it to a dead horse*.


*what?!

Thursday, June 27, 2002

For a while now ive been reading somesome kids online journal…a blogg similar to this one* and I look at this kid and he does so much. I know that hes only a freshman in college, but hes done more w/ his art then I did all throughout college.
This makes me upset.
Its people like this that make me feel like I have noting to live for right now. I don’t what to be that person that sits around and watched syndicated reruns ALL day long!






*not really his is a million times better
Work at the Hawthorne is going well. Im starting to really like it. I haven’t warmed up to many people yet, but that’s not a surprise. I do my job; they do theres…its ok.

Its so HOT outside today, the radio just said its 91 in Boston, and I can only imagine what my apt is like. Here at work its nice and cool, AC all around.